I don’t think my
turmoil envelopes the world,
Or that this darkness
covers all-
Only that it fills me
and hurts my heart,
Withers my hope, and
takes away light.
The act of making
notes on experience sickens me,
I find grief in the
disgust I have for myself-
But cannot stop it.
Making the words with
the mouth, making the sounds echo-
Slumping into a day-
unbelievable, I am horrified-
Who am I to feel such
sadness?- I have no need to feel such sadness!
I have no want to feel
such sadness!
It is here though,
such a dead weight.
I think if my body
were dead, then the weight would lift wouldn’t it?
This is madness, screaming grief-
I will not harm
those I love, I know- I have felt this way before- and
There was a
large and beautiful space… before it became so cramped,
So terrible,
Again.
I do not see the space; the opening up and the light- but I believe it is there.
